For the steady one who’s quietly running on fumes
Teach your nervous system there’s no tiger in the room
Starts Monday 2 November at 7pm to 8pm UK time, live on Zoom.
You’re a teacher, a nurse, a GP, a counsellor or a coach. You spend your days holding other people together. You listen, you advise, you give them everything you’ve got. They nod, they tell you exactly what’s wrong and next week they’re back in the same place. And at the end of the day there’s nothing left for you.
If any of this sounds like you…
- You’re tired all day. Then you’re wide awake at 2am, going over everything.
- Your jaw is tight and your shoulders live up round your ears. You only notice when someone touches them.
- You know exactly why you’re anxious. Knowing has never once made it stop.
- The people you help can explain their problems perfectly and still don’t change. Some days you feel exactly the same about yourself.
- You snap at the kids over socks. Then you lie in bed feeling awful about it.
- People tell you you’re so calm. Nobody sees what it costs you to look that way.
- Some days you wonder if this is just who you are now.
Why nothing you’ve tried has stuck
You can’t out-think a body that thinks it’s in danger.
That’s why understanding your stress has never switched it off. Your nervous system doesn’t take orders from your head. It’s scanning for tigers, and as far as it’s concerned, the inbox, the school run and the client who cancels last minute all count. Until your body gets the message that you’re safe, no amount of insight or positive thinking will land. The work has to start in the body.
The wellness industry knows this, and it’ll happily charge you £5k for some headphones, or £10k for a trip to Bali to learn it off some surfer dude, or put you in a room full of people writhing about on the floor.
You don’t need any of that. You need to know what your nervous system is actually doing, explained in plain English, and a handful of simple tools that bring it back down wherever you are.
Six weeks from now
- You have something to do at 2am that isn’t scrolling or replaying the day.
- You catch the tension early, in the jaw or the shoulders, and you know what to do with it in two minutes flat.
- You’ve got tools you can hand to the people you help, because you’ve felt them work on yourself first.
- You’ll still lose it sometimes. You’re human. The difference is you come back faster and you know how.
- You’ve got six tools that need no app, no kit and no candle. They work in the car park before a meeting and on the stairs before bedtime.
- The calm people see starts being real, because it isn’t costing you everything to hold it together.
- You find out this isn’t who you are. It’s a nervous system doing its job too well, and that can be retrained.
Introducing Fight or Flight Club
Six weeks, six tools, one at a time, taught live by someone without the guru act.
The order isn’t random.
We start with the eyes because they’re the gentlest way in, and for a lot of anxious people, being told to focus on the breath makes things worse, not better.
Each week builds on the last, from looking, to touch, to letting go, to sound, to movement.
Breath comes last because it’s the most powerful tool you have, and by then you’ll be ready for it.
Week 1
Meet Your Vagus Nerve
OrientingSlowly letting your eyes take in the room so your nervous system can see there’s no threat here. Simple enough for a car park before a meeting.
Week 2
Ground and Hold
Self-holding and grounding
One hand on your chest, one on your belly. For anyone who’s spent years being everyone else’s safe place and has forgotten how to be their own.
Week 3
Tense and Let Go
Tense and release
Squeeze one part of your body for a few seconds, then let it go completely. You’ll learn why you can’t relax a clenched jaw by telling it to, but you can by tensing it first.
Hum
Humming
A low, steady hum that you feel in your chest and throat. You’ll also hear what your own voice does to those around you when you’re stressed.
Week 5
Shake It Off
Gentle shaking
Animals shake off a threat. Humans (particularly adult humans) tend to hold onto it. This is the simple way to let it go.
Week 6
The Breath You Take Home
Coherent breathingSmooth and even, in for 5, out for 5. The simplest yet most powerful and the one you’ll reach for again and again.
Every tool comes with a “when not to use it” note, because a tool that suits one person can overwhelm another.
Starts Monday 2 November but you get instant access to the Introduction when you join.
Why I built this
I built Fight or Flight Club because I needed it.
I’ve been the helper for a long time. I’ve taught yoga since 2001, Pilates since 2006 and trained teachers since 2011. I’m the one who holds the room. I know these tools inside out. I didn’t expect to need them this badly but this year knocked me flat.
What kept me going wasn’t a retreat or a fresh start. It was the tools, the small unglamorous ones I’d been teaching for years. I used them in the car before work, on the stairs before bedtime and at 2am when my head wouldn’t stop. They didn’t fix my year. They got me through it, one day at a time.
If I needed these this badly with 25 years of practice behind me, a lot of people who spend their lives looking after everyone else need them too. So now is the time to share them, taught one at a time, live, by someone who’s been using them for real.
Victoria Cunningham
Founder, Ordinary People Academy
What you get
- Six live Rounds with Victoria. Mondays, 7pm to 8pm on Zoom, and every one is recorded.
- A worksheet for every tool. How to use it on yourself and with the people you help.
- A guided recording of every practice. Yours to keep for the bad days, long after week six.
- The Fight or Flight Club workbook. All six weeks in one place, with journal prompts.
Plus an audio practice library, The Club private community, weekly check-ins, live Q&A and a graduation Round with your certificate.
Who this isn’t for
- You want someone to fix you in one session. This takes six weeks and around 10 minutes a day or more if you fill in the worksheets and practice the techniques.
- You’re looking for chanting, crystals or a ceremony.
- You need medical or mental health care right now. This is education and practice, and it sits alongside your GP, counsellor or therapist, not instead of them.
- You want a qualification to teach breathwork. This isn’t one.
What our students think
Really enhanced my own practice which has reduced my stress levels and improved my sleep.
In my work life currently I feel less anxious and stressed.
I’m happier. Feel more aware of my body… I am more grounded.
I feel less overwhelmed and more focused in relation to where to focus my energy.
Questions
I've tried breathing exercises before. Why would this be different?
Because most of us were handed a technique and left to it. Here you learn one tool a week, practise it for a full week with support and understand why it works on your body.
Is this going to be woo?
No. I’ve built a whole academy around the idea that you don’t need to become a guru to do this work. If you came for incense, you’ll be disappointed.
What if I can't make Monday nights?
Each Round lands in your inbox the same week, so you won’t fall behind. Come live when you can, because that’s when you can ask questions and I can see how you’re doing.
How much time does it take?
An hour on a Monday night, plus around 10 minutes a day.
Can I use these tools with the people I work with?
Yes. Every worksheet shows you how to use the tool with someone else in a simple, safe way, once you’ve practised it on yourself.
When does it start?
Monday 2 November at 7pm UK time. We finish on Monday 7 December with a graduation Round that runs to 8.30pm.
How much is it?
£497.
You’ve been the steady one long enough
You’ve spent years holding everyone else together. Give yourself six Mondays to learn how to hold yourself.
Starts Monday 2 November. Your Introduction and Zoom link arrive straight after you join.